But then….. this beautiful moment happened where the lenses fell off and I heard him for the first time and something clicked in me. I could suddenly see all the red flags and I could SEE that he wasn’t the one my Father had for me. As he told me goodbye I knew I would never see him again. I knew this would be our final goodbye. I chose to turn my focus to seek Father to find all the other doors in me that kept drawing in the same guys. It was so painful sometimes! There were lots of tears, lots of forgiving others but mainly lots of forgiving me! Painful? YES! But it was so worth it.
During this time an amazing man was looking for me. He searched high and low and he found me on Facebook. After weeks of looking for me he sought the Father for two weeks as to when he could message me. In those weeks I was going through some deep, powerful, healing freedom. I had become very vulnerable and reached out to other freedom coaches to support me. I began to talk about my anger with God. I shared how I felt so alone and miserable. I began to let go of my “perfect outside” and allow The FATHER’S LOVE to breathe life back into my insides.
It was most definitely a feeling of shedding away old thought processes and patterns, and awakening to a new ME.
And then one day a little message popped up from Robert.
At first I was taken aback. We hadn’t talked in years but I remembered how kind he was to me and how safe I felt with him. So I messaged him back. You see in those months of talking with Robert, he didn’t just see me as the girl with a pretty face but he saw my heart. Through talking, I realized he had changed so much and so had I. I always believed I needed to be so perfect for Jesus to bring my husband into the picture. Such a lie. I was never going to be perfect. Jesus brought Robert when my heart was ready to receive love that saw past my exterior because I could finally love myself past my own exterior.