I often watch my 5 year old daughter look at herself in the mirror as she prepares for the day. She loves all colors and has a beautiful way of putting them together. If she could wear the rainbow she would! While watching her, I always take a moment to admire the confidence and happiness she exudes as she carefully looks at herself and smiles joyfully. I stare at her thinking “I see you not just for your outer beauty, but for all of who you are.”
In the past, confidence was not one of my strong points and my self image was extremely distorted. Some time ago during one of my freedom sessions, Jesus brought me to a large mirror. It was one of those you’d find in the room of a princess on top of a beautiful dresser framed in gold. As I gazed into the glass my first glance was of myself but the image I viewed was changing before my eyes. Soon the person I saw looking back was no longer me but the face of Jesus. That image of Him radiating through me will forever be etched into my mind. It makes me feel as though my opportunities are limitless and I’m bursting with confidence. I can feel that it’s not about me but about The One who lives inside me.
THE STREAKS and GRIME of TAINTED VIEWS….
Recently I had been facing some struggles that I felt were wrapped around self-worth and I began to doubt myself. In those moments where I began to feel misaligned and I began to doubt myself, I could feel myself gravitating toward anything that would numb or drown my emotions. Binge watching TV, stress eating and modern day comforts were the bandaid to the real problem. I never seemed to end up finding what I needed… No amount of Ben & Jerry’s or Netflix could give me the connection that I feel when I’m wrapped in my Father’s arms.
He then brought me to that same mirror I had seen myself in years ago, but this time the reflection of Jesus was gone and the mirror was smeared with accumulated grime. I could only vaguely make out what I was seeing and it wasn’t the majestic image of Jesus that I had seen previously. At that time I was reminded that salvation was a choice I made years ago and now I get to keep growing. There are still wounded places that need to be healed that can surface in my life and distort my image of myself, Jesus and others. So how can I give love when in the mirror I can no longer see Jesus but only my distorted self view?
This question caused me to isolate and feel unworthy of relationships and community. Many times I’ve been told “you must first love yourself before you can love anyone else” but how can I truly love all of me without knowing the one who lives inside me, my Creator and Giver of Life? I am so thankful that I know that Jesus lovingly waits for me to simply open my heart to Him at any moment.
One of my grandest life-changing moments was when Jesus answered the burning question in my heart: Who am I to You Father and who are YOU to me? He lovingly and powerfully answered “I am in you and you are in Me.” When I learned that He is living in me and I am in Him I began to love ALL of me. I can now see myself through My Father’s eyes as a reflection and extension of His Love. Yes, accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior is the first step, but I get to continually be aware of the areas that are not aligned to my original design, the places I get triggered, and I get to surrender those places to My Father.
1John 1:9 says:
“If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”.
EYES OF LOVE
-Jesus’ view of me is very different from how the world and I see myself! He sees me with EYES of LOVE!
-Triggers are simply invitations to self-discovery through Jesus. Struggles and painful experiences are invitations to more FREEDOM!
-Everything I need has already been placed inside me. All of the fruit of the Spirit is Mine!
-Religion and Relationship are very different! In my experience, religion and its rules feel so heavy and negative while entering into relationship with Jesus offers me endless possibilities and abundant life!
-Answers don’t always come as fast as Google…Learning to engage with Jesus and walking with Him provides me all of the answers I need in His time!
-God has a sense of humor and fun isn’t a waste of time. Learning to escape legalism and then laughing and having fun IS part of Our Father’s plan.
-He always has a solution to any problem (even the ones we create). I never saw God as a loving Father, but instead, a magnifying glass looking at all of my mistakes. Now, in Relationship with Him, I can see His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in every situation.
-He cares about the small stuff… I used to feel like I couldn’t go to God with my problems because they weren’t big enough to be worthy of HIM. Now I feel like I can even ask Him what deli meat I need to buy!
-He is in everything…I thought He was only interested and involved in spiritual things, but now I know He sees all I do, from nursing to homeschooling to cooking meals as Worship!
-Salvation was paid for by Jesus’ precious blood, but it’s just the beginning to the greatest Love Story. It’s a never ending journey with Jesus!
HIS LOVE IS PURE❤️
Religion told me what I should and shouldn’t be like but relationship with Jesus tells me I’m loved! As I draw closer to Him, I focus less on the areas that aren’t perfect and let arise from within me what He has to placed there. He wipes the mirror clean and only shows me the beauty and grace HE sees. He shows me the purest form of love I’ve ever known. This isn’t about a one-way ticket onto the Father’s “good list” but instead, it’s the most beautiful, life-long, life-changing Love Story! And all He needs is my YES!