Hello again friends! I hope 2021 finds you blessed and at rest.
It’s so interesting…! Who would have thought that you would be getting an inside look at how I think and feel?!
Basically this is the Truman Show…
…and I am Truman!
But what I really mean is that the things I’m talking about are so real-time that my “aha”moments are happening as I’m writing! My introspection has to be so fine-tuned so that I can give you an in-the-moment account with honesty and transparency.
It’s a backstage pass!
I’m telling you this for two reasons:
- This approach requires me to be SUPER authentic in order for my expression to translate well.
- Pam and Steve are Holy Spirit lead and it is no coincidence that I’ve been given this privilege to share an account of my life. It has helped me to become more honest and introspective and has fast tracked my relational growth! It allows me to have something tangible to share with you.
In saying this, it’s so fitting that my blog for this month is called “It’s Time To Level Up”. Every month I get the opportunity to Level Up and Pam and Steve have been a part of providing this opportunity for change. They have called me up to a new level of growth and challenge and for that I am so grateful. So I honor you Pam and Steve.
What’s Going On
Lately I’ve been struggling with placing realistic expectations on my relationships. At times, I seem to want more than a person can give me and then I get disappointed when the person isn’t able to satisfy my emotional quotient.
I’ve realized that growth in this area must look like going to God first to sustain me and then allowing ‘relationship’ with others to flow out from this place.
If I don’t prioritize where the influence of my input/output is coming from, which should always be God first, then my relationships end up in emotional disarray and I end up needing to recalibrate my spirit.
Double Edged Sword
I’ve realized that placing unrealistic expectations on people is a double edged sword. The inordinate need for one another’s emotional stimuli eventually wears us down and causes frustration.
The “on demand” back-and-forth eventually leaves the relationship in a deficit.
I’ve learned that this type of symbiotic relationship creates codependency and this dynamic doesn’t allow room for God.
“A codependent is someone who cannot function on their own and whose thinking and behavior is instead organized around another person, process, or substance. Many codependents place a lower priority on their own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”- Wikipedia
I also believe that there are different levels of this type of codependent relationship. I recognize that my default relationship-setting needs to be tweaked so that I can make more room for Holy Spirit.
God never intended for me to be someone else’s ‘solution’ and vice versa because He IS the solution!
Discovering The Why
It’s easier to find someone to fix my problems and to make me feel better in the moment than to put in the required time day-in-and-out tuning in to God!
An example of what this looks like is when you’re going to a person before you hash things out with God and they tell you exactly what you want to hear. A certain dependency forms and it eventually leads to a person becoming your go-to above God.
From Low Power to Fully Charged
Ultimately people let us down. Eventually we get disappointed when they aren’t available at our beck and call.
Placing expectations on people instead of God is disappointing. God is the only one that has the ability to fulfill our emotional needs.
Of course, It’s easier for me to get my daily emotional fix from an exchange with my husband or friend but this pattern doesn’t have sustainability. It seems to live on a ‘low power’ setting.
Could this be my moment of enlightenment?
Plugging my HEART into the right SOURCE + CONSISTENCY= A FULLY CHARGED SPIRIT
It’s Time To Level Up
A good friend once told me that in order to challenge her kids to grow in character in a certain area of their lives, she would give them a challenge and then asked them the question, “Are you ready to Level Up?”. I loved this and have used this as a life-statement ever since. I frequently ask myself this question as a barometer to help keep myself in check!
“Am I ready to Level Up?”. The answer is YES, I AM!
Do You Mean It?
“Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit”- Matthew 17:17
This Is a verse that constantly replays in my mind. It keeps me in check because I want my life to reflect what God has done in it.
What a privilege it is to welcome Jesus into this area of my life and to allow Him to do a work in my heart that obliterates the lie of believing that I need people to validate me more than I need that from God.
So in order to help myself Level Up, I’ll practice going to God first in the small relational things. It looks like having those daily little check-in conversations with Papa and taking the time to listen and perceive what He has for me each day. Then nothing and no one comes in to take the place of Father God.
Thank You for taking in my truth. I value having friends that can support and pray for me.
I love you and I’m praying for you! I understand that life is difficult right now and I want you to know that I am standing with you by Faith for better days.
Your Girl Jordanna