Initially I wanted it all to go away. I wanted there to just to be “peace”. But my heart wanted real peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding. So, I chose to press in, sometimes with tears (Ok a lot of times with tears) but Father knew I was willing. In that willingness He showed me how ALL things are purposed. The purposed things are invitations for me to go deeper and come up higher with Him, WHERE I BELONG.
If Jesus could truly rest in a storm then so can I. (Mark 8:23-27)
So I said yes to the invitation to go deeper and begin to open up my heart and let my King search my heart.
“God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.” – Psalms 139:23
In the searching I found that there was rest for me. The truth is that all these “battles” had already been won by my King. The searching that remained was for me to handle anything within me that didn’t believe that. I awakened to the understanding that I don’t have to fight this like some crazy woman. No, I get to lean into Father, rest in His presence, see that it’s already won and awaken to ALL OF MY TRUTHS THAT CAME FROM HIM.