Look UP!

Take hold of the HOPE seed

It's Time To Rewrite Our Stories

Blessings friends.

I want to share a message of hope with you.

You see, sickness, disease, fear, panic, anxiety and worry ruled my life for 28 years.

The TV, media, Dr. Phil, Oprah, hollywood and soap operas dictated the narrative I bought into. I lived my life through these channels and simply did not know any other way. I tuned in to these voices, with a hope of discovering how I fit in the world. Simply because, I didn’t know. I was lost, and I was looking for hope in all the wrong ways and places. 

I went through a major battle in my 20’s, that changed all of this, and that changed the trajectory of my life. 

As a 25 year old new mom, I was totally shook to the core. Just weeks after giving birth to my first child, I was hospitalized and then diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I had seemingly overnight, entered into a fight for my life. I went from being energetic, active and alive to feeling like I had been given a prison sentence to a life of sickness and hopelessness.

I remember being shown photographs of what my hands would look like if I continued using them the way I always had. It was so scary to see the deformity that was possible, if I was not careful, and if I didn’t follow the doctors orders. I was told all sports were dangerous for me, except for swimming. 

Without knowing I had a choice, I bought, hook line and sinker, into the doctors’ doom and gloom sentence on my life. In my devastation I became more aware of my own frailty and knew I was not able to help myself. The very same fear narrative that I had always listened to, was once again dictating my life. I did not know there was any other choice at the time. I did not know that inside of me was another voice, yet!

What comes next is the good news! The turn around! The HOPE…


“I want to invite you to grab ahold of the true seed of HOPE. His name is Jesus, and He changed my life forever. I want to share with you how He changed me and how He turned my world around.”

The story of hope for me began with other people planting seeds of HOPE. And, as challenging as this was for me to walk through, I would not change a thing. The trials that I faced have helped me to grow into who I am today and have taught me invaluable lessons about how to be an overcomer in life.

Hope arrived for me through people who planted SEEDS OF HOPE into me. 

My first glimmer of hope came from a seed that was planted when I was in the hospital, during the first weeks after being diagnosed with RA. It took a few years to take root, but it was planted by a visiting doctor who came into my room – only one time. He must have noticed how sad I was — a new mom in the hospital, separated from her newborn baby girl. I had just given birth to Ashley, two weeks prior. My hospital stay had consisted of dozens of doctors coming in and out of my room and multitudes of tests being performed. So the mention of this, speaks to the importance of being a HOPE BROKER. It speaks to the power that our voices have when we use them to offer someone hope. 

The voice of hope came in the form of these words the doctor spoke to me: “MY PATIENTS WHO HAVE FAITH HAVE A FAR BETTER PROGNOSIS THAN THOSE WHO DON’T. Have faith and believe you will get better.”

At the time he shared these words they did not take root for me, but over time this seed of hope began to grow. His words came back to my remembrance quite often, yet I had no idea how to act on what I was feeling or how to stir up my faith to help myself. He made me think differently. I recall thinking: “There must be something to this faith he talked about”.

It was two and a half years later that this seed sprouted for me. I was at what I thought was a “regular ole music concert” but it ended up being so much more. While listening to Phil Driscoll play his trumpet I was ushered into the presence of God. I felt this warmth and love that I never had experienced before and went up front to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior that day. This day was the beginning of a radical new journey for me.

A few short weeks after beginning this beautiful new relationship with Jesus I had a woman come along and water the seed planted through the doctor’s words spoken at the hospital. Her name was Judy and she told me: “You don’t have to live like this Pam.” I had no idea what she meant, but I liked that she saw a hope and a rainbow in my future. She invited me to her house with a few other women from her church and they prayed with me.

What I experienced that day at her house was the truth of the spoken Word of God. I met HOPE Himself. I encountered God. 

The women told me that God was a healer and that His healing power was available to me if I wanted it. With this seed of hope I had been carrying, I was filled with faith and totally believed for my miraculous healing and received it! I was healed of RA, panic disorders, anxiety and a chronic skin condition. Judy was just one person, but she was one person who reached out and changed my life!

I had been raised Catholic and had never heard about the healing and transformational power that was available for those who believe and have faith! It surely was made known to me that day!

I am beyond grateful for the impact and power that these two people had in my life. It is a powerful testimony of speaking life into someone else when they don’t know how to speak it for themselves. I know that the life giving words spoken by the doctor breathed hope into my spirit, until Phil Driscoll and my friend, Judy, were used to water this seed and help it to grow and take root in my life. 

The doctor was right when he said: “those who have faith have a better prognosis”. I know his words planted a seed in me that increased my faith for healing years later. What seemed like a random comment made out of the blue, is now part of the symphony of my life.

In this world, I’ve found that it can be so easy to pay attention to the negative fear narrative. It truly does surround us on all sides. It can literally be found everywhere. And, it can devour us if we don’t become aware of it’s deceptive and destructive power. 

My life was bound up with sickness and disease until  I learned not to fuel the fire of fear. I stopped feeding and focusing on all the “what if” questions. What if this happens… or what if that happens? What if they don’t like me? What if I get hurt? What if someone I love get’s hurt?

After getting healed I stopped watching the news. I stopped listening to the narrative and spin from this world, and I have never looked back. I have not missed a single thing. No longer do I look to the world for their opinion of how I should feel or think or act. My mind has been made up for a very long time now, and I will not turn and give ear to what fear is whispering to me again. Turning towards fear made me sick. Fear terrified me and kept me bound up. 

Jesus is who has my attention now and He is the answer. When you turn to Him you will discover peace. Take your seat with Him and enter into rest. 

What I want to offer is hope that your state of existence can and will change too.

I want to speak life into those of you who have a voice – to use your voice.

Speak UP and speak out!

The world needs what you have.

Plant a seed of hope today.

You may never know how that seed will be watered here on earth.

But, rest assured, all of Heaven is rejoicing with you.

And, if you have lost hope – take this as a seed deposit for believing there is a better way. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. My life changed and hope came in when I met Jesus. I no longer needed the other voices. He became my Lord, the one I sought after. He healed me and He will heal you. 


With Love & Blessings,

Pam VandenBulck

"I pray that the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination, flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of His calling—that is, the wealth of God’s glorious inheritances that He finds in us, his holy ones.
Ephesians 1:18 TPT

Here is part of my testimony and freedom from anxiety and the fear of speaking. 

If you’d like to learn more about how you can experience freedom from trauma and abuse please click below to begin Rewriting Your Story.

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